Casual sexism — from yelling at boys to 'stop playing like girls' on the sporting field to saying women don't deserve equal pay — is reinforcing a toxic culture that culminates in domestic violence, warns Hannah Clarke's best friend Dave Kramer.

If someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, there are many practical ways you could help. Being available to listen, taking the person to an appointment, or encouraging them to contact professional support, are all simple steps and can be life-saving.

We discuss these and other practical ways to help someone experiencing domestic violence in this panel discussion.

Dave's own childhood exposure to domestic violence had blinded him to some of the signs that Hannah and her kids were in danger.

After Hannah's death, Dave began the difficult work of confronting his past and educating himself on how to recognise abuse and have the confidence to speak out and help.

He now helps educate teenagers and young men about respectful and safe relationships and healthy masculinity.

If we want to talk about safer communities, we need to talk to men about their willingness to hold each other accountable. 

Listening and believing a victim’s story, respecting their choices, and offering practical help, could be the lifeline that helps someone break free from domestic violence.

That’s the advice of Helping Hands panellists Lilly McKeich (Salvation Army National Domestic and Family Violence Specialist); Stacy Jane (Escabags founder and survivor); and Dave Kramer.

Dave said the normalisation of sexism in language that degrades, devalues, and dehumanises women, offers men all the permission they need to maintain the belief that "women are inferior".

"I know if there were a woman here right now being physically assaulted by a man, every man here would do something to stop it. But we cannot do that, and then hang out with our mates while making sexist, degrading, and dehumanising comments about women in general conversation.

"We cannot have both. Because so long as this sexist and misogynistic culture that currently pervades our country is thriving, women will continue dying at the hands of men."

Delving into the lived experience, Jo Mason and Dave Kramer share their experiences and learnings from the survivor and bystander perspectives.

This episode aims to eliminate stereotypes of domestic and family violence by demonstrating its non-discriminatory nature, discussing the warning signs and raise awareness of the various forms domestic and family violence can take, arming bystanders and victims with the tools for identifying unhealthy and unsafe relationships, leaving them and rebuilding life afterwards.

“If men rigidly believe that this is what it means to be a man and this is what it means to be a woman — ‘she should be quiet, she should be submissive, she should do what she’s told, she should exist to serve men’s needs’ — then they feel more justified in making sexist jokes, or expressing anti-feminist views, and even posting such beliefs on platforms like Facebook,” he says.

“And when they do that and they receive no pushback, they take that as permission to maintain the belief.”

Casual sexism — from yelling at boys to 'stop playing like girls' on the sporting field to saying women don't deserve equal pay — is reinforcing a toxic culture that culminates in domestic violence, warns Hannah Clarke's best friend Dave Kramer.

“Before Han passed, I was just like any other guy. If something seems off, you sit back and think, it’s not my problem and it’s none of my business,” Mr Kramer told news.com.au.

“I think you also think it would never happen in your world. You don’t need to worry about anything that serious.

“But it’s a real problem. It’s a real cultural issue. It’s happening all around us, all the time. When it happened to someone I loved, I realised that I should have spoken up in the years before, I should’ve said something.”

Dave shared his story during the Domestic Violence Prevention Council's (DVPC) Love /= Control campaign about the friendship he had with Hannah and the kids and the warning signs he saw.